It is perhaps a fortunate thing that we have met here. It suggests that my homepage is not entirely unbearable, at least enough to make you move your fingers and scroll into this "About Me" ramble. Since you are here, why not pause for a moment and let me give you a formal introduction.

Me

I am not good with words, introverted, a thorough idealist, an INTP, aloof, detached, and "intolerant of stupidity." To many, I possess distinct, unlikable edges. Being too blunt, cold, or even heartless are criticisms I often hear. However, it is not without positive feedback; perhaps thanks to always maintaining a sense of decorum in social settings, to sum it up, I am probably just a Half-dead. I grew up in Shanghai, and later, in a bit of a daze, I traveled far to the United States to complete high school and university. In short, the first half of my life was not directed by me, yet it profoundly carved the trajectory of my life.

How did I become a full-stack engineer?

In high school, I was determined to study music, having practiced the piano diligently for nearly a decade. I also completed AP Music Theory during that time; as one of only two students, the school even made an exception for my best friend (Brandon) and me, opening a dedicated exam room for the first time in its century-long history. Our silver-haired music theory teacher, a Berklee College of Music graduate, proctored the exam himself, which moved me deeply at the time. Unfortunately, I ultimately let him down by failing to achieve a score of 5. After high school graduation, I couldn't hide my decision to attend a music conservatory from my parents any longer. Once discovered, I was required to study in a major city and restricted to a finance major, which is how I ended up in New York.

I am a Fatalist, believing that I was merely playing a role I had been assigned. Looking back now, choosing the path of a programmer was not a whim; it feels more like an inevitable trajectory set from birth, where everything simply fell into place.

1. First, inspired by those around me during high school, perhaps, in some mysterious way, I felt the need to do something. I barely made it into the math team. Obviously, I was the one at the bottom, but those moments of collective brainstorming were truly infectious.
2. Second, after arriving in New York, I realized that my personality was not well-suited for jobs that require extensive interpersonal interaction, so I persuaded my parents to compromise and chose to major in Mathematics and Economics. I believe the root cause of this inferiority complex was the various outstanding individuals I encountered during high school.
3. Third, the changes in my family life made me more reliant on myself, constantly in my mind. Trial and error, deduction. Realizing that I could only rely on myself in this world, and with the recommendations and help of friends and family, I embarked on the path of self-taught programming and grew to love this work.

Writing this, I feel a sense of trance. It was precisely those experiences in high school that shaped my personality, influenced my social style, and ultimately acted as a catalyst, leading me down this path. The truth is, it feels as if everything is being guided by an invisible force, and I have merely been making choices passively.

It feels like a path I chose for myself, yet also like a path the world prepared for me.

What is the purpose of this website?

The purpose of my writing this website is, on one hand, because I felt that in the past, the old website was deprecated (If you don't mind putting in a little extra effort), on the other hand, it is the realization that I have many strange and peculiar ideas that have not been recorded, and they will eventually dissipate into nothingness. The exponential iteration of technology has also given rise to exponential restlessness and entertainment. This website feels more like a "Secret Base" in the Pokémon world—a place that offers a moment to slow down and catch your breath amidst the adventure of life. Interestingly, this sentiment only emerged as I grew a few years older, which truly lives up to the stereotype.

Where do the letters ANTXZ come from? Xiao Hua?

ANTXZ is derived from my English name, Anthony, and the initials of my Chinese name, XZ, and thus I have this domain ANTXZ.com. Both my high school music teacher and my classmates thought my initials were cool because they are AZ, from A to Z, so I have used this English name ever since.
As for the Chinese name for this website, it was taken from a player I really like in the game JX3. Xia Xiaohua.